If it wasn’t for that crazy little gland called the adrenal I would be so calm, kicked back sipping a cool beverage and realizing that everything was fine. But for some reason this gland has decided that it needs to anticipate the worst outcome so that I am able to survive. So, it keeps me on alert, waiting for something to happen, to not be taken advantage of, to be vigilant that some awful thing will happen to me and then drives me into protecting myself or doing something based on a totally speculative chemical reaction. If I have not managed things well it becomes fatigued and I do not get the benefit of its function which is to balance my hormones, mange my sleep and waking cycle and suppress inflammation. It  also generates energy from non-carbs, regulate our blood pressure, secretes stress hormones that keep us alive in moments of trauma or danger and will slow down our digestion, increase awareness and move blood to our brain and muscles. When the adrenals are tired it is because of chronic stress and it runs out of hormones and all the other goodies that it supplies you and then you are is major fatigue.

Have you ever experienced two people in almost the same circumstances and one person is happy and the other person is sad and feeling that their life is falling apart. This tells me that happiness is a choice, a state of being happy. This is the place of low frequency where you can only perceive things through the lens of your emotions like when you are angry you see the world as a place of being unworthy, when you are judgmental, a place of fear, jealous a lack of self worth. Adding a negative vibration to these low level emotions turns them into a reality full of judging, unworthiness and frustration. The accumulation of these emotions can lead you into a downward spiral that is often hard to reverse as it seems to expand it. So to get out of this cycle we need to be conscious of these thoughts and start to realize how they are imposing themselves on us and wrecking the view we have of the world.

Here are the three steps to get out of the vicious cycle of unhappiness:

1.) Awareness: This is the conscious piece that is vital to transforming our thoughts into happiness pills. We need to tell ourselves the truth, but we cannot get to the truth if we are huddled under thoughts that have been created because we are terrified of the consequences that might cause our life to fall apart. The world of ourselves is in our brain, the final frontier for getting to the truth. The depth that we go in and ask that question is the path to consciousness. You cannot heal yourself if you are lying to yourself. Take a full blown evaluation of the words in your head, are you drinking a toxic bomb every day?

2.) Choice: The bottom line is that happiness is a choice, there is that moment when you must respond and that is the place where the rubber hits the road, the fork in the road to love or misery. People will do anything to avoid making a decision. It needs to be a walk and talk it integrity moment where we are going to live with no betrayal of who we are. We are not our past, stop blaming your parents for all of your suffering. Turn it into wisdom and move on. Life is not fair, get over it as there is really no other way to get over it. Your choice is to not live in it, turn it around and instead have it be your education your Phd at the University of life. Choice is also about risk. I see so many people hovering on the edges of cliffs and paying me to kick them off. The safe path is the least productive. When you are trying to decide your next steps you cannot go backwards, there is nothing there to help you with that decision. Be in the present moment and stop wishing, hoping and begging and just make the best decision that you can. You were born with an innate sense of where to go so tap into it. Not doing so is like having a GPS system in your nightstand when you are going to drive cross country.

3.) Trash Expectations:  Expectations are a ticket to mental disaster and pain. Should have, could have, would have. I yawn as I ready the impotency of these comments. Why not allow things to unfold as they should. Have you ever had something happen where it feels like disaster and later you say that is the best thing that happened to you? A blessing in disguise. The greatest happiness can be when you meet the unexpected. Give up the need to know the why. It is one of most difficult demands of the human experience. Doing this will not allow yourself to heal and move on. This locks you in to toxicity and  keeps you from the full potential of the person you can become and lands you in self pity. We may also be chasing a dream that is not aligned with our path. When you are asking where to find your life’s purpose, the truth is you never lost it and give up always wanting to know what happens and instead bask in appreciation for what you have.

So why are we in despair and why is happiness so elusive? Mostly it is because we do not want to let go of what we had or what we think we deserve. When we can walk away from it all and say that we are whole instead of feeling bad because of all we have lost we can find freedom. It is the moment to embrace faith and to stop betraying our right to a smile and a life of joy.

My absolutely favorite Happy stone is Bumble Bee Jasper