Being in relationships is one of the best ways to raise your level of enlightenment.  Where else would you experience the ways of the heart with such impact? It is an opportunity to use all of our fear-based emotions. These fears are like an ice cream sundae, two scoops of control, some blame, a heaping spoonful of judging, some possessive behavior and then top it off with jealousy and colored sprinkles of careless expectations and you have the makings of life’s greatest emotional indulgence. I call these emotions the Big 5 Karma Busters.

Partners enter our lives as teachers, helping us to get a lifelong lesson of human emotions, therefore relationships are a setup. They are doomed to fail at the start because when we enter into a relationship we want something out of it. The expectations are really illusions that cloud the real purpose of a relationship which is learning.

When a relationship is weak it is because someone wants everything for themselves. When there are no expectations or desires it is strong.

So when we meet someone, there it is, the whole ice cream sundae to take a bite of. A sweet opportunity to learn about the futility of expectations and to raise your consciousness above fear by losing your grip on control.  The real pitfall is when you attach yourself to changing someone, it is like signing up for a chemistry class and wanting to learn French, you are not going to get it. If you stay attached to wanting the other person to be like you, you are doomed.

What the soul really cares about is the lessons of the heart. When a relationship is in a stage of destruction, all the fears are flying and you are flunking chemistry. It is time for a life review of your perception of reality. When you accept and honor the learning you can change your view of reality and it can be a quick step out of a train wreck. The final outcome is your realization that all you can control is your own choices, behavior, and actions. The journey is dealing with the consequences.

Last year was 2016, which when added up is a 9 (2+0+1+6). Nine means the end of a cycle and I had several clients reach the conclusion to end their marriages. When we were working out the separation and the moving on, I shared with them that you can never completely move on until you have completed the soul’s term paper. I asked them to write down all the things that they learned and to evaluate themselves on how they did with the Big Five Karma Busters: Control, Possessiveness, Judgement, Blame and Jealousy. This extra effort makes for a solid foundation on which to go forward. Not doing so is like signing up for a class and never turning in your final paper. So, if you walk away, finish the Karma and pack your gratitude for the lessons learned.

Life is for learning and relationships get top billing on the scale of Karma.


From the other side of life,