Our life’s journey is about connection to others and friendships are sparkling baubles we accumulate along the way, but there is an art to good friendships which is why many friendships fail and sputter out or simply disappear.
So what is the fine art of friendship?
Here my top ten rules about being a good friend.
1.) Your friend always, always, always wants the best for you in every single situation of your life. If you become insanely rich and achieve the best of everything your friend should not have one ounce of jealousy. They should genuinely celebrate you and your success and expect nothing but your friendship.
2.) Your friend should be your head cheerleader! When everyone else is saying no, be the friend who says “yes you can do it”. Saying no means you doubt the capacity of your friend to achieve greatness.
3.) Be brutally honest and whatever is said between the two of you – DO NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY. This is a deal killer in most relationships and means there is a kink in trusting each other. Remember that both parties to a friendship are always in a learning process, trying to be a better friend.
4.) You are not in a competition! Loving and caring about someone is not a race or a social grab or a fight for the limelight. When your friend is being honored for their achievements be in the front row, clapping and waving and whistling, that’s what friends are for.[/fusion_text][fusion_text]5.) Respect is a non-negotiable piece that cannot be compromised. Any hint of gossiping or dragging someone through the mud is a breach of trust. Just as you protect your spouse and family, you protect your friend and you are not a sounding board for others to throw your friend under the bus. Being impeccable with what is discussed with others is vital to long-term success.
6.) Be honest with your feelings. If you know you have hurt your friend make it right.
7.) Invest time and effort. Take a road trip, a girls weekend, go shopping, goof off and celebrate what you love about each other.
8.) Show up! If a friend is struggling and needs your help adjust your priorities and get to their side.
9.) Accept them for who they are. Over the years we change and evolve. Honor change and embrace their new point of view.
10.) Engage in small gestures, a phone call, a note about how you feel about them or a simple check in to be sure that all is going well.
A good friend will run to your side if you need support. They are there for mourning and for times of strife and trouble. Good friendships are like beautiful gardens though, you must water them, nourish them and show up and they will bring you a lifetime of beauty and support.