An interesting lesson about remaining in the PRESENT and not in the PAST or FUTURE of New Year’s Eve.
After surviving another Christmas without Tino around, New Year’s Eve arrived. While I was waiting for the clock to strike midnight, I realized how much of a mistake it was to be anticipating what was next. I stopped myself and let the anticipation of what was next fade into reflections on New Year’s Eves past, the first kisses, the clinking of glasses, the noise-makers, and cascading fireworks. For fifty-six years I had been in similar settings waiting for a ball to drop. The fireworks went off. I wondered. What am I celebrating anyway? The past or the future? To celebrate either seemed futile to me now. I was simply in a place at a time, and that was all.
As much as I wanted to control my future I was beginning to realize that it doesn’t exist until it occurs. It was essential to stay present. Only what occurs is reality. I could no longer extend the view of my life so far out from me that I would never experience today.
In the weight of the moment, Tino swooped in and joked, “Did anything that you anticipated happening last year happen?” I laughed and said no. “So, what is all the new anticipation about?” he asked. “It is simply a guessing game people play. You all say that life will be different in the New Year, and of course it will. But that’s only because things change. This thinking is useless, as no one can know about tomorrow today.”
It was New Year 2012, the beginning of the year that the Mayan calendar would end a 25,000-year cycle, and I would have to be patient to know what the months ahead of me would bring.